To BE or not to BE?

The bulk of my life has been spent obsessing over “doing” stuff. I must DO something in order to achieve something so I can feel fulfilled for 2 seconds. Then I must strive to find the next thing to DO, so I can DO it again. Of course the next phase of DOING must be grander than the previous, otherwise I am not progressing which means I am failing and basically wasting my time on this planet. No matter what I DO it’s never enough. There is always some other elusive “over there” to arrive at. I am tired of living like this.

 

Just DO it!

Our culture tells us that we must DO in order to BE successful.  So we fill our days with ridiculous busyness, DOING crap that doesn’t matter: shuffling our kids to numerous activities, fixing broken possessions or acquiring new ones, working at jobs we hate and commuting to those jobs. Everyone I know is so darn busy they don’t even have time for developing real relationships. Leisure time is spent in a pre-packaged activity that must end by a certain time so we can get to another appointment on time. 

If I take away everything I DO out of obligation, and everything I DO to feel fulfilled there is nothing but a hollow shell of a person.

Thus enters the concept of “being”. We seem to have the idea that we must DO something in order to become who we want to BE. How about the notion that we must BE first? If I am totally in a place of BEING then anything I DO will arise naturally from my beingness, not from a place of “I’m empty, so DOING this will fill me.” This is what Taoism means by “non-action”. I love the notion of just BEING a mother, a wife, a friend, a filmmaker and not worrying about the DOING part.

But what does it mean to BE? 

I would say a BEING person is one who is totally in the moment, no concern over past or future. They would live from a continually spontaneous place with absolute detachment from whatever DOING arises.

“Who cares?” Some of you may be saying. But for me this is a fascinating mental shift. One that I am going to explore more. 

For example yesterday I was DOING laundry. 

I detest laundry. So rather than thinking about how I have to DO the laundry (and feeling resentful about it) I decided to BE the person who does laundry. I totally focused on BEING in the process vs DOING so I can get this crap done so I can DO something else and cross it off my list and feel happy for half a second. It was really quite amazing. What does it mean to BE a mother vs DOING all the stuff mom’s DO? It is almost like you are concentrating on the role itself, not the job a role performs. 

It is much like being an actor. 

An actor focuses on playing the role. The stuff the character DOES is secondary. Also, the actor knows she is just playing a role so she is quite detached from the results of her character’s activities (doing). I am very excited about this! I love the idea of just BEING and not striving to DO DO DO all the time. What do you think?